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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

13.06.2025 11:20

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By taking turns talking.

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By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

I told my 13-year-old daughter that she should never start a fight, but has my permission to end it. She got suspended for ending a fight that some other girl picked with her by hitting her then retreating. How do I handle the school’s response?

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.